That said, in my year or so of work within this county, there have been cases that would be considered ‘strange.’ The one that comes most to the forefront is the Changeling that happened upon my office, which is unusual being as far out from the main cities, but I did not ask why she was there.
Changelings have a peculiar biology. A wizard will claim that they alter their shape purely based on magical theory, but this is a misnomer; the primary catalyst is genetic in nature, part of an as-yet understood reaction that fluctuates hormones at an alarming and expansive rate. Magic simply keeps their flesh from exploding outwards or rapidly mutating into a gigantic tumor mound. Extreme physical trauma can sometimes alter this ‘magic field’ or throw the hormonal balance out of order.
In her case, it was a combination of both. An enchanted arrow had done enough damage to her knee that she could not change it back from that of the tiefling she was posing at, leaving her with one goat-leg to hobble with. Worse, it was beginning to alter her body uncontrollably, morphing it into pulsing, cancerous shapes.
I worked for 14 hours cutting away at flesh that only grew back minutes later, or would actively avoid my blades and tools. I am nothing if not persistent, however, and the sliver of metal lodged within her kneecap that kept her morphic field unstable was eventually removed. It took a week of rehabilitation, but she was eventually able to retain her various shapes. She took her leave and left me with a sizable reward, despite my protests.
I am still wondering as to where the flesh I removed had gotten to, however. I’m afraid it may have gained sentience and left of its own volition…
Did a long one for you, today. The triumphant return of Mordinforged! :V
Boonies Doctor here- things look like they’re quieting down so I’ll offer a few more stories.
Just this summer I get two teenage human males cupping their groins in pain one evening after everyone had left.
I naturally suspect they must have picked up some sort of STD and told them it wasn’t nessicary for them to be embarassed; nothing I couldn’t cure and they’d be fine in a week after some medication.
Well it wasn’t that.
Turns out the boys had found out that some Oozes were cultivating in a cavern.
They didn’t realise that Oozes were caustic.
Burns all over their genitals I had to treat them for a month- and even worse is that I got in a few more kids who had tried the same thing just last week.
Not a whole lot to say about this one.
Being of the metallic persuasion, operating on organics was a rather…optics-opening experience when I was first off the forges. Certainly I am programmed with all the necessary information to operate on humans and the majority of humanoids, but that can only bring a warforged so far; it is the experience that cements the “how” and the “why” together.
Field-dressings and emergency care during conflict is significantly easier, in the short-term; you know the person may well not see their next sunrise, despite your best efforts. Out here, in the ‘boonies,’ I’ve become more concerned with how the patient is…feeling. It is a very strange thing, to try and apply what the elf called ‘empathy’ to a half-orc with ulcer pains, but I am told it will make me a better, more caring doctor. Few are willing to trust a man of metal and wood, so I have heeded this as best as my abilities allow; my duty is to heal others, and to not be able to perform my function would be disastrous.
I will not lie when I say that applying a poultice to the injured knee of a little girl and receiving a smile from her in return does not bring a great sense of accomplishment within me.
In which I do my best Mordin impression. :V
You may or may not hate me for this but. Out of all the different species of patients I’ve worked with out here Elves are always the most difficult.
They’re just as short as Dwarves but I can’t treat them like Dwarves.
They aren’t as small as halflings or human children so I can’t treat them like that either.
So what ends up happening is an Elf comes in pregenant and expecting to give birth with the frame of a sixteen year old Human female.
We almost always have to go for a Cesarean section or risk the mother dieing due to complications.
And thats only if I’m lucky enough for them to come in on time: Elves always come to me at the last minute, they’re always so reluctant and it always causes more god damn complications.
And I’m not even mentioning the part where an Elf will come in and almost 100% of the time I have to ask if they’re male or female.
Well now that I’ve figured out how to use the quote function in Tumblr itself to separate the thread post from the comments. :V It’s time for Indignant British Guy!
In other news, I have yet to receive any requests for readings. th-this thread won’t go on forever y’know
“Church doesn’t have too much influence around here, so healers are your best bet. I’m pretty well known around these parts, “if you need something fixed, go find samuel” and all that. However, I had a very interesting case recently.
I go by neutrality rules, it helps me get a lot of patients and make a living, and nobody dares hurt me. This led to an interesting encounter recently. A woman, rather beautiful, walked into my office and told her to follow me, she had something urgent I needed to take care of. She led me far, through a forest and to the nearby mountains, where she led me into a large cave. Inside was a blue dragon, with a large hole torn in his wing. Turns out the woman was his mate. I don’t know much about dragons, but their insides aren’t totally different from other races, and operating on dragonborn helps you get a basic idea, so I managed to dress the wound and get him comfortable. He seemed slightly bothered when I told him he’d never be able to fly as quickly again, but otherwise took it well. He offered me as much gold as I could carry, which I politely declined, though he insisted I take a few gems along with me.
Weeks later, around now, a red dragon attacks the city I operate in. I didn’t see much, but people told me a blue dragon flew in and drove off the red one before mysteriously leaving.”
I’m slowly coming to grips with the fact that I really need a better microphone. :V This headset isn’t gonna cut it forever.
Hey. I..I don’t know if anyone else is the same, but I might be able to help you with that.
I’ve…well, I’ve *been* resurrected. I was gone for about a year before some friends managed to scrape the resources together to bring me back. I never expected it of them. Anyway.
The thing is, I have an idea of what my afterlife should have been, obviously. I’m a man of a church. But….I remember nothing. *nothing*.
I remember blacking out, rising again briefly for one last strike, then…awakening in a new body, in a house, my associates standing around looking nervous. Red with a grin on her face.
But I have no memory at all of the beyond. It’s…unnerving. It shouldn’t matter, I know, but somehow my mind keeps going back to it.
As I say, I don’t know if anyone else has a similar situation, but that’s why I…..don’t always seem to be all here.
I told you I’d have one for Monday! This one’s actually a reply to the one I did on Friday, so uh.
The boonies doctor here.
I had a squadren of Dwarven legionaires come into my pratice; one of their men had been killed and they weren’t able to save him in time so their squad’s cleric/medicinedwarf/shaman/healer was issued the order to resurrect him.
Now they had braught him in for me to treat him for ressurection sickness, alright?
You know how when you spend all day in your shoes they feel like just an extention of your feet?
But when you take them off and put them back on you notice all the fine details: how sweaty your feet are, what the soul of your shoe feels like, that sort of thing?
It was like the dwarf was feeling that with his own body and his foot was his soul.”
Another short one because I don’t have the house to myself for long today. I think I’m getting the hang of this whole post-production thing.
“Dragonborn. Great Gods, I almost had to close up shop when one of those scaly bastards came in complaining of stomach pains.
Said he’d eaten “something nasty” and wouldn’t elaborate on it. When I pressed the issue he knocked over my table and told me to fix him.
I mixed up a basic concoction for stomach pain: soda powder and some ginger tea. The carbonation relieves gas and my mum’s used ginger for stomach pain since I was a lad.
Well, turns out Dragonborn don’t handle ginger well. He starts projectile vomiting acid. Melted my stand and did a number on the poor old lady selling sweets behind it.”
Bit of a short one, this time. The thread’s starting to see a lot more reply posts at the point I’m recording from now. :V
“I’m a doc out here in the sticks, and let me tell ya, it pays to treat everybody equally. I’ve got a neutrality pact with every group around my area, and they either come to me to mediate disputes or to treat ‘em. I’ll tell ya, it’s strange seein’ two enemies laughin’ together while they’re put up then goin’ back to trying t’kill each other soon as they clear the markers of my property.
One thing I’ve had a chance to treat out here that I’ll bet y’all ain’t even seen outside of a trophy room is trolls. There’s a small tribe of ‘em up the mountain; got them in on my neutrality pact when the chief’s kid got burned real bad, though I make sure to keep a sheep or two nearby in case they’re feelin’ a bit peckish.
Last year, one of their warriors came in with a growth in his arm that I couldn’t for the life of me identify. At least, not until I thought about it some more and asked a few more pointed questions.
The poor bastard cancer, and let me tell you, it ain’t easy for the buggers. Y’see, their natural regeneration doesn’t remove the tumors; it makes the sons a bitches grow FASTER. The tribe disowned him once they found out, so he came to stay with me for the rest of the time he had left; he went from being a relatively healthy speciment to a ball of organic agony within the month.
Near the end, he was damn near mad from the pain; fortunately, he had enough presence of mind t’ask me if I had any acid on hand. As luck would have it, I did. I’m betting th’poor bastard woulda thanked me if he could’ve, but by the time I’d found it he’d gone over the deep end.”
Again, a couple liberties taken. Decided I wanted to do one with a silly accent this time. :V
“I don’t have many depressing or grotesque stories since I run a quiet little pratice outside the city in the countryside.
But I’ve got my fair share of interesting stories never the less.
It was a few years ago during autumn and we got a most unusual patient: a minotaur.
Now unfortunetly I wasn’t very well verse in Animal people biology but I knew enough about treating larger humanoids thanks to a few giants that lived in the area.
So as I was saying, this minotaur comes in and starts telling me his symptoms: Acute pain in the side of his body, pain during urination, and he was having trouble urinating.
Well you can guess already but he had a kidney stone.
He was relieved that I knew what he had but he was less then thrilled to find out we would have to put him under and cut it out of him or he’d have to pass it out.
Well he was having no such thing (a stubborn sort of gentlemen), so I offered a risky alternative and he graciously accepted.
The next day we braught in a human who knew geomancy.
He was not only able to smash the kidney stone into a fine powder without harming the minotaur, but the minotaur was able to walk out of my office later that night with a clean bill of health.”
I took a few small liberties with this one in order to make it flow better. I also tried my hand at a bit of post-production to see if I could reduce a few things. Let me know if it sounds better than the last one!